Acts of God: Adam and Eve

I thought it might be fun to recast some well known biblical stories in play form. I’ll call these “Acts of God”.

In the first Act, we have an excerpt from the creation story.

(Oh, and I’ve taken the liberty of giving God a sidekick. His name is Bob.)

Act I: God Creates Humans

Heaven, thousands of years ago. God has created the earth and its various flora and fauna. He now wishes to bring forth an intelligent guardian to take care of his creation. He discusses the situation with his faithful servant, Bob.

God: Bob, I feel the need to put my creative powers to the ultimate test and design an intelligent creature to look after my earth.

Bob: Very good, sir.

God: I think I shall make this new creature in my image. Yet, he shall have no knowledge of good or evil.

Bob: Why not, sir?

God: Well, such knowledge may be dangerous. It may cause him to do bad things.

Bob: Couldn’t you simply create him in such a way that makes it impossible for him to do bad things? You are omnipotent after all. And, what’s more, you yourself have knowledge of good and evil, and you do not do bad things, so we know it’s possible.

God, pondering: Yes, I see your point. I’ll think about it.

God creates Adam and Eve, and places them in an idyllic, leafy location called the Garden of Eden. However, he decides to go with his original plan, and gives Adam and Eve no knowledge of good and evil.

Some time passes, and Adam and Eve are standing beneath an especially beautiful tree in the Garden. As they marvel at the tree, a snake approaches.

The snake, it turns out, can speak.

Snake: Good afternoon, Adam and Eve.

Adam and Eve: What? Who said that?

Snake: Me. Down here… Further down. Yes, the snake. I’m talking.

Adam and Eve: Er… OK.

Snake: This is a lovely tree. Do you know anything about it?

Adam: God told us about it. It is called the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Apparently, if we eat of its fruit, we shall die.

The snake proceeds to tempt Adam and Eve with the fruit of the tree. They eventually succumb, and eat of it. They are given knowledge of good and evil.

It then happens that God and Bob, taking a stroll through the garden, pass near the gathering beneath the tree. Concealed behind a bushy thicket, they overhear the entire exchange, including the debacle over the fruit. Shocked, God leaves his hiding place and confronts his creations. Bob follows.

God: Adam and Eve, what have you done?

Adam and Eve: We have eaten of the forbidden fruit, my Lord.

Bob, whispering to God: Sir, what is this forbidden fruit of which Adam and Eve speak?

God, whispering back to Bob: It is the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

Bob: I thought you wanted Adam and Eve to be free of such knowledge?

God: Yes, I did.

Bob: Then why did you put the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil right here in the garden, where they could eat of its fruit whenever they wished?

God: Well, that shouldn’t have mattered because I expressly forbade them to eat the fruit. And they aren’t capable of evil, so it doesn’t make sense for them to disobey me, since that would be evil.

Bob: But sir, they clearly have disobeyed you.

God, a little annoyed: Yes, I see that.

Bob: Perhaps, sir, you did not create the perfect man and woman? Perhaps you made a mistake somewhere?

God, outraged: How dare you suggest something so preposterous! Be gone from my sight!

Bob leaves the scene, perplexed.

God turns to Adam and Eve.

God: Adam and Eve, you have disobeyed me, so I will punish you. You shall leave the garden at once. Adam, you will have to toil in the fields for food. Eve, you will suffer great pain at childbirth. Snake, you will henceforth crawl on your belly.

Adam: If you please, my Lord, we have simply behaved according to our nature, which you created. Perhaps you did not equip us with enough resistance to temptation?

God: Do not talk back to me, Adam! Besides, the snake appears to have been very convincing and difficult to resist.

Eve: Lord, if I may ask, who created the snake?

God: Well, I did, of course.

Eve: But why, oh Lord, would you create such an evil animal as the snake? Was it your intention for him to tempt us, and for us to succumb? If so, then why are you angry with us for fulfilling your plan?

God, at a temporary loss for words, stands awkwardly silent.

Adam: Lord, we understand if you did not see this coming, you can’t be omniscient all the time, right? Perhaps you could simply wipe the slate clean and start over, maybe with no snake and no tree this time?

For a moment, God stares at Adam and Eve indignantly, then leaves the company without another word.

Adam and Eve are summarily banished from the Garden.


6 Responses to Acts of God: Adam and Eve

  1. You’re mocking God, Keith. I understand this post is a joke to you and supposed to be humorous, but mocking God’s Word isn’t likely to endear you to the Lord, in my humble opinion anyway.

  2. Keith says:

    Warrioress: I’m sure you’re quite right. If God existed, he wouldn’t be much impressed with my blog.

  3. Gideon says:

    This brings up the just issues that one may have with the creation story in a very entertaining way. How can God be good if he created evil? How can God be perfect if he created imperfect beings?

  4. Robert Hagedorn says:

    For a challenge Google First Scandal.

    • Keith says:

      I’m afraid you lose me here:

      “7 And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

      The existence of a body is implied by the phrase “breathed into his nostrils the breath of life.” But the phrase is a figure of speech here. There is no mention of Adam having a body at this time. Adam is very clearly described only as being “a living soul.””

      I disagree. The existence of a body is implied by the phrase “formed man of the dust of the ground”. I don’t see how you can get around this as a reference to a physical body.

    • Keith says:

      ..and then metaphors are mixed: first, the two trees in Eden are, with the rest of the garden, described as part of Adam’s body, yet a few lines later you describe Adam as eating fruit from one of these trees. This would imply that he is eating part of his own body.

      From what I’ve read thus far, you are making some pretty subjective interpretations (like the garden being Adam’s body) that aren’t explicitly backed up by the text – not exactly a process that is free from opinion!

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